Friday 22 May 2009

I Keep Just Shaking My Head!

Today's post is about a story that really upset me.

I don't expect many people will support my view, but here goes anyway. I'm not planning on running for mayor any time soon.

The report cites the case of a 13 year-old American boy suffering from Hodgkin's lymphoma ... a cancer that attacks the lymph system and is considered rare in children.

Doctors say time is running out and they want to try chemotherapy. His mum wants to try a more natural route first. In her words " give us some time to heal our son and if it does not work the door is still open on both ends".

Now here's the catch. The courts are forcing the parents to surrender the child for mandated treatment!

And in response, the mum has taken off, supposedly heading towards Mexico with the child. Dad is stuck at home appealing to his wife to reconsider her action.

What a situation!

How screwed up is it when parents have no say in something as critical, or as controversial, as healing their own son ... and a mother is forced to break the law in order to do what she feels is right?

Of course, she is citing religious grounds. And when I heard that I, like many of you too I expect, felt my shutters go down instinctively too.

But then I thought, with everything I have learnt over the last 35 years, that she was absolutely right! This is her child's life we're talking about, not some government statistic.

If I was told I had cancer and had doctors baying for a chance to pump me full of chemicals ... I would also look to try a natural strategy of healing as my first port of call. I would do this even if my back was against the wall and I knew my time was limited.

Why? Because modern medicine does not have all the answers and just maybe there is a better way. We are so quick to pump people full of chemicals, even when their resistance is already greatly diminished.

I would also spend every waking moment I had getting informed and making contact with people who had beaten cancer going this route. I would talk to doctors and survivors. I would think outside the box. I would try with every fibre of my being to find something that may work. It sounds like this is pretty much what this woman was wanting to do too.

And I can hear you baying for my blood already, saying "but it's a child who has no say". We must protect our children.

Bollocks!

The fact that parents are over-ruled in a situation where a) their course of proposed action is not unreasonable and b) she was still not closing any doors if the natural route was obviously a dead end ... meant she was a mother, not a zealot.

Now we'll never know, because that poor mother, whose own child is dying, won't even have the luxury of going on-line and getting more information. She'll be stressed out and running for her life. And what impact will that have on her child's health?

She was following her instincts. And she was frightened. Her husband figured that out and seems like a gentle soul on the brink.

And she was just asking for some time to get informed and try something that made sense to her. Stranger things have happened.

How dare our society over-ride the reasonable wishes of a parent and presume to play God?

But when this poor kid dies, we'll hear sage men in white coats or grey suits say "I told you so". Where was their emotional investment?

My heart goes out to this woman. I wish her and her child a miracle ... because her hand has been forced and that's exactly what it's going to take now.

By the way, I also support Jack Kervorkian. All governments should stay out of private matters! What could be more private than a terminal patient with all their faculties who's ready to die ... or a mother on the threshold of losing her own child.

Back off Big Brother ... don't you have some sheep to clone somewhere, or a distant galaxy to befoul with space debris or something?

And while I'm in rant mode and going far beyong the usual scope of this blog, I thought I'd comment on something that's going on right here in the UK. We have a government who also professes to care about the rights of children.

Strange then that the creature that killed baby Peter got 10 years in gaol. Ten years!!!! ...The child died from systematic abuse. He had a broken back and ribs.

And this was the perpetrator's second offense. Oh yeah, the first time he raped a two year old child!

And we have a system that looks out for kids!

Surely if you rape a two year old, you don't get a chance to destroy another child's life ... because you are in gaol for the rest of your existence?

But perhaps he had a harsh upbringing and society is to blame.

Yes folks ... after today I really could just howl at the moon. Please tell me I'm not alone on this one.

7 comments:

Kate Burton said...

Sorry but as a mother and a cancer survivor I could not disagree with you more. If she were standing with a gun to her son's head we would intervene and no questions would be asked. Instead there are a group of people who are claiming religion (I'd read more into this, at best this is cult behavior) and guaranteeing the death of this boy.

When Daniel dies I am hoping that his parents will be jailed for murder.

Jan from BetterSpines said...

Amen! Rant away my friend. It's an incredibly tough call when, as you say, the medics are baying for blood. There are other choices. And the mother is not REFUSING treatment for her child, she is looking at alternatives. There ARE documented alternatives to chemo; none of which is available in this country (!).

Don said...

Hi Kate

Thanks for your comment. I certainly respect that you are so outspoken and emphatic in your disagreement with my point of view.

Are you suggesting that there is absolutely no validity in a natural non-chemo approach?

And I'm not referring to blind faith as the sole protocol here.

How many times have doctors told people they are "incurable", but have then been proved wrong? Certainly enough to justify further investigation into alternative options.

I have spoken to cancer experts who feel in many cases that chemo only delays the inevitable.

If the grounds were purely religious and the couple had no intention of looking outside their faith to get more information ... well then, that's another story.

If they had no faith in chemo, there's no denying there are boatloads of evidence to support their conviction there.

I only saw a short clip of what appeared to be two apparently reasonable people. So my take on the whole affair was that it was bullying of the highest order.

If the parents acquiesced to government mandate to put their child through chemo and the child died, would you then be baying for someone else's blood with equal vehemence?

Kate Burton said...

I feel the need to respond and clarify the issue here. If the adults in this family were diagnosed with cancer and chose to use non traditional treatment I would completely support that.

If this child were diagnosed with an "incurable" cancer and the family chose to use alternative treatment that I would support that.

I'm a big fan of Meg Wolff author of Becoming Whole who treated her stage IV cancer with a macrobiotic diet. So please be assured that I am by no means discounting all other options.

What I am discounting is playing around with unproven methods when there is a proven, incredibly successful treatment available to most likely save the life of this young man. All people are entitles to their opinions and their choices but that does not make them the right choices.

Allow this child to grow up and become a homeopath who rails against chemotherapy for all I care, but the choice that this family is making irresponsibly decreases the chance that this child will grow up at all.

Don said...

Hi Kate

In response ... when did a non-invested government become a better judge of what is right for a child with parents that love him?

Just because it chooses to mandate a protocol considered more mainstream, does not necessarily mean that this is in the best interests of the child.

It just means that a clever lawyer in a flawed court system can't throw any obvious stones.

Sure, some people survive chemo and their cancer goes into remission. And yes, I do understand that survivers may see it as a Godsend. I might too.

But calling it "incredibly successful" and something that will "most likely save his life" is perhaps rooted more in emotion than in reality.

The only thing "proven" in medical science is how little we really know.

Doctors widely prescribe statins, anti-depressants and the like for people making them into life-long patients. Does this make these treatments "proven" ... or even the "best" options?

And who gets to decide?

Oh yes, I nearly forgot.

Robin Boland said...

Hi Don,
This is a very sad story and I feel the boy needs medical treatment. When cancer is caught early, you have a better chance to help kill it. I tend to agree with Kate. God help this young boy. He needs treatment now.

Don said...

Hi Robin

Thanks for your comment. I respect your point of view as I know it is shared by the majority of people.

I just don't agree with it.

THe last thing any family in that predicament needs is the added stress of forced intervention in their private affairs.

People blindly accept the wisdom of doctors ... but doctors themselves will tell you they don't have all the answers.

Please google, for example, "Hippocrates Institute" in Florida if you don't believe that other options have sufficient validity.