Catchy title ... but sadly all true! Nothing will change until we have a total paradigm shift in our mentality.
When things go wrong, it's not politically correct to blame the parents. So we blame everyone else that we can think of ... schools, teachers, the government ... blah, blah, blah. What a cop out!
No wonder our kids are getting fat and unhappy. They have no leadership where it counts. At home ... from the very adults that should be setting an example.
What chance does any kid have if their own parents can't communicate effectively with them? Once the rot starts, families never get out of fire-fighting mode ... and as things get progressively worse, so the excuse machine starts and the blame is placed, diverting attention from the source.
Every day the media tells us the problem is getting worse ... and every day some genius comes out with another angle on fixing the problem. Meals at schools should be healthier. Kids should become more active. TV and computers are the root of all evil.
Sorry ... the real problem is lack of communication skills. Parents are told it's not their responsibility ... and kids are told that they are in some way defective, in need of help, correction, whatever.
So here's what to do about it.
- stop nagging, lecturing or otherwise pointing out that your kid has a problem ... they don't. You do.
- get informed ... learn about clean eating and healthy movement and how to effectively make the incremental small changes that add up to long term, sustainable, permanent habits.
- accept that the process will take time and that you will need patience and yes, maturity.
- lead by example. Believe it or not, kids want direction ... but from someone they respect, someone who makes them feel good about themselves. Who's going to take advice about healthy eating from "leadership" that serves up TV dinners and fizzy drinks for dinner?
- "But my kids won't eat anything else" ... stop making excuses, stop pandering to them. Show them a better way by showing them you care about them ... and yourselves.
- get outside and move about. Have fun. Don't "work out" ... that's for adults. And that's why most adults also don't develop the habit of activity. It's just not enjoyable if you're measuring all the time. Spontaneity works for adults too! And start off slowly. Consistency wins the day ... because it's manageable.
So, take responsibility, get informed, show some leadership, stop being critical and start being patient. Have some fun ... together ... outside ... as a family!
Remember, this is a process, not a destination. And these are your kids. You can never stop trying.
(I first alluded to this problem in my earler post of Friday 14 November, 2008).
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8 comments:
And now it's lack of Vitamin D responsible for obesity. Isn't that the vitamin you get from playing outside? In the sun? Or even going for a walk? In the oooooolden days when I was a girl, we had to have 20 minutes of sun per day, or a spoonful of cod liver oil.YUK! So get the kids off their butts and out into the open air where they will be active and a bit more healthy.
We've lost the plot, haven't we Jan?
Thanks for your input. Don
Oh, boy. What a reminder. I'll be back after the holidays and will take notes.
Hi Me-Me ... hope I didn't depress you. The holidays are a brilliant time to get outside, have fun and move about with abandon. There's so many things you can do. It doesn't have to be for long. Ten minutes at a time adds up and keeps things from becoming "work". Just don't think about it. Spontaneity and laughter ... that's what it's all about. Have a great holiday!
Another shameless plug!
And another one! Wrong site Kevin.
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